E & LT

{Reflections from a heavy Mama heart}

 I can't get enough of these two boys. Colin and I are constantly saying how blessed we are. We look at our beautiful boys playing together or catch E sneaking an unprompted kiss to LT and just want to melt with love. We don't take for granted our sweet little family of four. We thank God each day for these two sweet bundles of joy that he gave us. How did we get so lucky? It is an honor to be given the chance to be a Mommy and Daddy to these boys.

My heart is heavy lately for those around me who don't have kids or have a struggle to have babies they long for. Sometimes I wonder and ask God why it's easy for some and not for others. Sometimes I wonder why we got these two babies pretty easily while others try and try and try. Why?  Sometimes I wonder why girls are having babies they don't even want at such a young age and parents out there can have 5 kids so easily yet don't care to even raise them well and continue to live their lives full of drinking, drugs, and whatnot. Sometimes I wonder why we have these two and others can't even have one?  I know that God's plan is perfect and I pray that I never take my sweet kiddos for granted.

I've quoted this book before, "Just in case you ever wonder" but while reading it again last night with our boys, I couldn't help but tear up again. It's just everything I've wanted to say to these little guys.

"And since you are so special, God wanted to put you in just the right home... After lots of looking, God sent you to me. And I'm so glad He did! I'll never forget the first time I saw you... I knew in my heart God has sent someone very wonderful for me to take care of... As you grow and change, some things will stay the same... I'll always love you. I'll always hug you. I'll always be on your side. And I want you to know that... Just in case you ever wonder."

I pray that even through the rough times (like when my baby boy decides he doesn't want to go back to sleep after his 3 am feeding and Im exhausted, or when my toddler wants to be defiant and push my every button) I pray I will constantly thank Him for these perfect gifts. I pray that I never cease to thank the One who gave us two amazing boys. 

I pray that we always give them hugs and never forget to remind them that we love them and we're so very,very thankful for them.