This Kid {Ramblings from Mamaland}

This kid:

This kid is lucky he's so cute. :-)

 Not sure how one sweet little man can make me want to go crazy and bring me to tears one minute... and a while later can make me crack up and smile and melt my heart with saying "mama" and giving kisses. Sure is hard having a toddler, but in the end I love it. It was one of those afternoons that he seemed to test me in any way possible. I told Daddy that I considered leaving him and not bringing him home from bible study because I was so frustrated and was not liking him at the moment! Of course, I wouldn't ever do that. But, man! Temper tantrums, angry outbursts, throwing objects when upset, and taking his anger out on another little girl about threw me over the edge this afternoon. It was the first time I realized that I was afraid to have another kid. This fear and sadness only lasted a short time, but it was very real and very scary and even brought me to tears. I love this kid, and always will. But God is continually teaching me about patience... and how little I have. Especially when pregnant with a CRAZY almost 21 month old to deal with. 

But, This kid: 

This kid still lights up my life and never ceases to amaze me with his sillyness. 

Goodness I love him...Tantrums and all. 

He redeemed himself tonight as we enjoyed a long bath time of giggles and playing!

I know there will be many more days of tantrums and possible tears involved, (from both of us) but in the end it's all worth it. I still love being a mama. And wouldn't trade it for the world.

And when I'm frustrated and want to lose it and pull my hair out- Here's a cute video that I can't watch without smiling and thanking God for this beautiful blue eyed wonder he blessed me with....

YEP. 

I still love this kid. 

It's the strong burning love that brings me to tears even now,

 the love that pains me to see him hurting in any way

or the kind of love that aches me so deeply

 to see him struggling with sin (even at 20 months old)

It's the kind of love our Father has for me. Even in my sin, I know he'll never leave me or forsake me. He'll hold my hand and carry me along. Forgiving me and showing me grace over and over again, grace that I don't deserve. 

This love is the kind of love I have for my boy. 

I love him more than he may ever know...