Welcome Isaac

Isaac Jacob: A Birth Story.

"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living, 

My BABY you'll be"

The week leading up to this special May Day was incredibly bittersweet. Each day I tried desperately to cherish the movements in my belly and enjoy being pregnant for this very last time. The anxiety was unreal. The days were spent with our big boys and being just a family of four before we welcome our littlest gent. The night before we finalized the packing and I snuggled my boys a little extra. I kissed them and held them tight. We were so very excited. Mama almost couldn't sleep, and instead wanted to talk, reminisce about our other babies, and dream about what this sweet boy would look like. But, it's funny how Daddy still fell right to sleep. :) The morning of we enjoyed breakfast with the bigs and hugged them tight before leaving for the hospital. Next time we would see them- we'd be a family of 5!

Oma met us at the hospital and we were ready to meet our baby boy! It's funny how the process seems to take forever when you're so incredibly ready. Although it was only a couple hours that included lots of answering questions, getting an IV, monitoring mama and baby, and anxiously watching the clock, time seemed to just creep on. It was wonderful having friends and co-workers there by my side. My dear friend Crystal was able to be there for your birth to "catch" you. I couldn't be happier that such an amazing NICU nurse and friend would be the one to make sure you made your transition into the world without issue. I trusted her with all my heart. And knew we were in the best hands with all the doctors and nurses. I remember feeling SO very ready. Ready to finally see you, meet you, smell you, hold you, and kiss you over and over again.

Finally. It was time. We got the go ahead to walk to the OR. I kissed Dada good bye and couldn't wait for him to be by my side again. The nerves always kick in when I walk into the OR. I shake a little and tear up a little. The staff was amazing, held my hands during my spinal (which hurt more this time than any others- that wasn't fun), they talked me through everything, and of course Dr. Ezell made jokes along the way. It seemed to move fast once we got going. Daddy joined my side and I was so happy. I remember just taking deep breaths, knowing that any minute our lives would change forever. Dr Ezell finally said it was time, and I immediately started crying because of the nerves and excitement. Daddy stood up to watch and take pictures. The moment was finally here. As I had requested, they lowered the drapes and the anesthesiologist tried to help lift my head as best as possible. I couldn't see everything, but what I could see was better than nothing. And more than I got to see of the other births. And... I absolutely loved it.

It was so quick, but it was so amazing. You were here. Finally. You were here. Tears of joy streamed down my face as I tried desperately to see as much as I could. I remember seeing your head really quickly as he pulled you out, and before he laid you on my belly. I first proclaimed "he's bald!" because I didn't see any hair. Everyone was pretty quiet. They knew I wanted to see you for myself before they said anything. While you were laying on my belly I remember I could see your big feet in the air and couldn't wait to see more of you. Thats when Dr. Ezell sat you up and rubbed your head with gauze. And I finally got a good look at your sweet face: chubby cheeks, sweet lips, and your hair. THAT HAIR. "It's white!" I cried out. Literally, crying. I looked at Daddy and he was crying as well. We couldn't believe it. I looked around and people confirmed just what I had saw. Dr Ezell said "yes, it is" and I looked over at Crystal and she shook her head yes with tears in her eyes. And I bawled. Overcome by the emotions that were going through me. The emotions were UNREAL. I cannot even fully describe it. We may have cried, but we were obviously so very much in love.

After that first minute and that first cry, you decided to not be easy on your nurses and you stopped breathing. But with a little help and some oxygen, they were able to get you to pink up again. I could occasionally hear your little whimper of a cry, but it wasn't very strong. After quite a while, Daddy carried you over to me. I kissed your cheeks and touched your head. I got to see you for just a minute before your oxygen sats dropped again, and Crystal knew you needed to go over to the nursery. I longed to hold you, to see you more, and as Daddy left with you to go the nursery all I could do was cry. I remember really crying, so upset that you couldn't stay with me. The doctors were wonderful and talked to me. I knew your nurses would take such good care of you. I went to recovery on my own, the most surreal thing ever not to have your baby with you, on your chest, doing skin to skin, and breastfeeding. I was in recovery, on my own, and am so thankful for the sweet nurses who did their best to keep me happy, and also keep me updated on your status. They finally brought you to me and we got to snuggle and you got to nurse shortly. (I was so happy how well you did!) But, then your oxygen levels dropped again so you weren't able to stay for long. Which, was difficult, to say the least. So they took you back to the nursery. Daddy stayed by your side while you were under the oxygen hood. The nurses passed along your weight (exactly the same as brother lukes!) and length (definitely shorter than the other two boys!) while I was desperate for more info and more time with my baby boy. After recovery they took me to my room where we waited some more. Mama got sick, again. (Apparently, it's just part of the game when I have c-sections). Some family was there and everyone wanted to meet you!! So we all hung out and we waited. Finally they brought you to me and you were able to STAY. I was so happy. We were all so happy. And we were so very, very much in love. We couldn't wait to share the news with friends and family who were waiting your arrival. 

Isaac Jacob Gerstner

8 pounds 11 ounces

20 inches

We were all in awe over you. Your perfect rolls. Your squishy cheeks. Your perfect little lips. And your hair. That beautiful white sparkling hair, just like your big brother Elijah. You were here. You were ours. And, you were perfect in every way possible. 

That evening your big brothers got to come meet you. It was so fun to see how they each reacted. Elijah was totally in love right away and wanted to investigate you and hold you. He noticed your hair on his own. He pulled off your cap and unprompted said "he has white hair like me!" It was such a heart warming moment. I knew right then that you two would have a special bond like none other. Luke was too funny the first time. He really didn't care much for you, as if he didn't really understand that this baby was actually "Baby Ike" that was in mama's belly. It took a few days, but each day he warmed up more and soon was smoothering you with kisses, insisting you always have your blanket that they gave you as a present, and wanting to hold you. Your brothers adore you, will be your best friends, and will always help protect you. I cannot wait for your friendship with them to blossom. 

After 3 days in the hospital Daddy and I got to finally bring you home. We were excited (and admittedly a little anxious) about what was to come, how the big brothers would each adjust, and how life would be with THREE boys! But we couldn't wait. The first week we spent going to the hospital for lab draws each day because of your jaundice- and you almost got readmitted to hospital but thank goodness we escaped that! In the 2 weeks since we've been home you have been a fabulous baby. You love to nurse (every 3 hours on a good schedule during the day!) and you sleep great (waking only 2 times a night to eat and go back to sleep). Your big brothers are pretty much obsessed with you. They have to give you kisses each morning and say goodnight each night. Luke will come over and say "hi" and kiss your head 100 times a day. Eli is precious and is constantly checking on you and asks to hold you. They are excellent helpers! Mama is soaking up every single moment with you as a baby, because they are already zooming by too quickly. I love every squeak you make, every little whimper and cry. I kiss your cheeks and snuggle you into my chest as much as I can. I have already admitted to Daddy that you may be quite spoiled, because you're my last. My baby. And I can tell I'm not going to want you to grow! I'm absolutely loving having a baby again. I love everything about the newborn phase and having a baby. And I don't want it to end. 

You, sweet baby boy, have made our little family complete. We are now a family of FIVE. And, we cannot imagine it without you. We adore everything about you. We praise God for the gift you are. We thank him for blessing us with another child. And We Love you, to the moon and back.